The internet has urged a woman to miss her friend's bachelorette party abroad after the bride didn't invite her to the actual wedding ceremony and party.
In a post shared on Mumsnet earlier in December, under the username Justnosing, she explained that her friend of 10 years, invited her to her bachelorette weekend abroad, ahead of the wedding, which is in two months, to which she hasn't been invited.
She added that, for the last decade, she and her partner have invited the couple to every event they have hosted, but now they're the only couple in the group to have been invited to the bachelorette party and not the actual wedding.
According to wedding planning website The Knot, during the pandemic, the average amount of wedding guests in the United States decreased by almost half. It's now almost back to pre-pandemic levels. In 2021, the average wedding guest count was 105 guests, which was an increase from the 2020 average of 66 guests and approaching the pre-COVID 2019 guest count of 131.
In the comments, the poster said that her friends are not struggling with money. Restricted seating is definitely not the reason why they weren't invited, and the couple has avoided any mentions of the wedding in front of them at all.
Laura Richardson, a licensed clinical psychologist at Turn the Mind, LLC told Newsweek that if going to the bachelorette party would make her feel resentful and even more hurt, she should definitely decline gracefully.
She said that a destination bachelorette party could be a way for the bride to spend quality time with close friends, but it is confusing why this person would not be invited to the local wedding, especially if money is not a factor.
"The only thing I would want to know is if there was a mix-up between the organizer of the bachelorette party and the bride/wedding. It is possible that it was a mistake. If there was a way to determine that without causing too much friction, this would be an important thing to find out. Because, really, this situation reflects on the friendship, and if there is a mistake, it would be important to clear it up," she said
She added that the poster has the right to decline the bachelorette invitation, and she may also consider whether she wants to put significant effort into that friendship in the future.
"Friendships change and the ebb and flow of friendship can change our priority in someone's life at different points in time. This is a very hurtful situation and it makes sense to feel sad, angry, and frustrated," she said.
In a further update to the post, the woman said that her husband is going to "bring it up with the groom," and will not be attending the event if the groom confirms they were not invited to the actual wedding.
Most of the people who commented in the thread agreed she should politely decline the invitation, and that this may be a stain on their friendship. One user, lap90, commented: "It would be a no from me."
MoreSleepPleasee said: "[You Are Not Being Unreasonable]. I was invited to an engagement party where we all wrote a message on this huge wooden heart which was going to then be on display at the wedding. How sweet. While there I was asked if I'd been invited to the hen party. No. Mortified. Then got asked if I'd been invited to the wedding which was apparently already all planned. Again, no. No idea why they even invited me to the engagement party. Felt like taking my gift back."
And AtrociousCircumstance suggested: "I think you need to text a mutual friend and ask them to sound the couple out, to check your invitation hasn't been lost or forgotten. And then if you're not invited to the wedding of course don't go to the hen/stag."
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.
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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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