A viral post has sparked fury online after a husband "begged" for an open relationship— only to change his mind when the wife followed through with his proposal.
In a viral Reddit post shared by u/Similar-Light1034, the wife explained that she didn't want to explore non-monogamy but her husband was keen to find out what it would be like to sleep with other people.
Eventually, she agreed but her husband became "upset" following the moment she slept with another man.
Research shows that husbands are more likely to be interested in an open relationship as opposed to wives. YouGov America surveyed over 23,000 adults and the results found 41 percent of men were more likely than women (33 percent) to say that they believed humans are not meant to be monogamous.
Considerations Before Opening Your Relationship
A change of heart isn't "entirely uncommon" when it comes to opening up a marriage, Alexandra Mollon, a sex and relationship expert and the founder of Somatic Healing, told Newsweek.
"A lot of people say they want an 'open relationship' and what they mean is they want the freedom to sleep with people but they don't want their partners to do it," Mollon said. "Open relationships can be really beautiful but they also should be really thoughtfully tended to."
The expert encourages couples to explore kink and non-monogamy for a living. She told Newsweek that she asks couples to answer the following questions:
- What's exciting about this?
- What feels good to them?
- What might not feel good?
- What might some hard boundaries be?
Mollon said that "both parties need to think through and share their desires and their fears."
The post shared on the subreddit r/TrueOffMyChest has received more than 9,000 upvotes and many people are encouraging the woman to leave him.
Explaining her story, u/Similar-Light1034 wrote: "My husband basically begged for a year, maybe longer, to sleep with other people. He knew I didn't want it. I told him no over and over and over. I was crying so many times after he would ask.
"I told him I was depressed about it, I didn't want it, [and] why does he want other people. He said it's nothing about me, he just wants to see what it's like with other people. That I look good but he isn't doing it because of looks. Basically just wanted to try anyone else.
"After he wouldn't stop I said fine. I told him I didn't want to do it but he would not quit asking so fine just go for it. He did some stuff with a person but not full-blown sex. That's all he's done. He told me when he was begging that whole time that I can do it too and I can go have fun and go away for the night."
At the start, she wasn't keen on the idea until she met someone who made her feel "wanted."
The original poster points out her husband reassured her it is fine to sleep with someone else just last week.
"So I told him last week I'm talking to someone, then the other night said ok I'm going to do it. Well, then he comes to me the next day and says he was so sad about it and couldn't sleep all night and he is scared I'm going to leave him," she wrote.
"I told him honestly I'm pretty pissed because I felt like that for a year and he knew how I didn't want to do it but he kept begging so he [was] getting what he wanted. So now he's saying he regrets it and he feels bad for doing that to me. I told him, oh well he did it and it's bull**** to change it when it's benefitting me."
She ends the post by explaining her marriage is on the brink of divorce due to the "torment and heartache" but she doesn't want to become a single mom.
"I didn't sign up for this. I signed up for a family. I didn't finish school and I will not find a good-paying job. I have no idea how to afford this. And it makes me sad I won't be able to be there as much for my daughter anymore if I do this," she wrote.
"I know parents do it all the time but I liked the life I had before this happened. It just doesn't feel fair. Being a stay-at-home mom worked for us because he works a ton, constantly, and goes out of town for work trips and we didn't have to worry about 2 work schedules," she concluded.
What Do the Comments Say?
One user said: "I meant I want to sleep with other women, but it turns out the one I wanted to cheat with is not that interested and I didn't think you would actually sleep with anyone. Now that I see that other men find you attractive and you found people to sleep with in a single week I feel scared that you'll leave me for someone better."
One Redditor wrote: "Yeah if I was him I'd be scared you were going to leave too. You're way, way too good for him. I hope you have a lot of fun with your new friend."
"Honestly, just leave his ass now. He's a selfish turd and it's not going to get better," another person commented.
Newsweek reached out to u/Similar-Light1034 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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